Meet GarageDoor

Sometimes a project goes together so well that it is simply a joy to work on. It’s the way you imagine all your projects to be, but rarely are. This was one such project.

Meet GarageDoor.

GarageDoor is bad at his job, he’s old and doesn’t latch properly. He swings up and wastes vital head room for a good portion of the garage space, he…

What? No. I’m not telling them you’re a hero who survived multiple wint… because it’s not true… you’re a door… no. Because it’s my blog, that’s why. Of course I don’t like you, you aren’t good at… no… If you want to tell your side of the story, get your own blog.

Sorry about that.

Anyway. He had to go. Continue reading

House For Sale. As Is. New Roof! (Some Assembly Required.)

It’s been over a week since Operation Re-Roof and I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about it. Of course, four days after the new roof is on–it hails. For a full minute or more small chunks of ice drop from the sky in a meteorological hazing ritual. A trial by fire, you might joke, except that it is really a trial by ice.

“You couldn’t have done this three weeks ago!?” I yell at the clouds who defiantly rumble back with such a loud clap of thunder I am thrown to the ground and pelted with more ice.

I’m still in recovery mode. I dedicated a full four days to the project and pushed myself to my physical and emotional limits. I do not know if I have pushed myself like this before. I imagine this is the closest I will ever get to bootcamp.

Certainly, I’m proud of what I was able to accomplish. What we were able to accomplish. (I’m still in awe of the family members who stuck with me through the project.) Yet, even knowing what I know now, I don’t think I would have had it any other way. In the end, it all feels worth it. Continue reading

More Home Improvement

The hardware store is basically a second home to me. I spend enough time there that all the employees know my name and have recently even begun inviting me to social gatherings such as block parties or their children’s birthdays. It’s nice of them, certainly, but it makes my shopping trips that much longer when I have to stop for cake, ice cream, and the appropriate amount of social interaction.

Of course, it’s rude to arrive empty handed, so I find myself at a different store, hunting for a present, usually a gift card inside another card. For as many cards as Hallmark makes, they have little in the line of “child of employee of store I visit far too often” so I’m usually browsing through the section “for complete strangers” while trying to figure out what is age appropriate for the particular occasion. Continue reading

Home ownership and the subsequent adventures.

It’s well known among DIY homeowners that any home improvement project will take three to eight times longer than expected. The project will also require n + 2 trips to the hardware store where n is the number of trips one would reasonably expect the project to require.

As always, the project begins with optimism. You are increasing your quality of life, improving your homes resale value, and adding another task to your list of personal accomplishments.

It’s a cause for celebration, or will be, once it’s done.

The first trip to the hardware store is always the best. You spend some time checking out the sales and weighing options. This is when you make the most important decisions about how much money you would like to spend on this project. Though what you would like to spend has little effect on the actual end cost.

Sadly, it is statistically improbably that you will purchase everything you need on that first try. Likely, you’ve forgotten an important adapter, or purchased the wrong size. Perhaps you’ve misremembered your screw inventory or assume that you have the right parts at home, when you actually don’t. Continue reading