After playing through Portal 2 I had some ideas for five news headlines I would expect to see if such technology ever became widely available.
Practical joke leaves woman drowned in bed.
Jane Doe was found drowned in her bed this morning, after a neighbor saw water leaking under her apartment door. The water came from the apartment complexes swimming pool. The water was transported to the bedroom by two prankster teenagers who shot one portal through an open window of apartment and another in the bottom of the swimming pool. The teenagers were unaware that the room was occupied by the sleeping 72 year old, who woke suddenly to a torrent of water falling from her ceiling directly on her…
Car-jumping.
College students have developed a new way to get their trills and possibly die trying. car-jumping is the name of a new fad where students shoot a portal onto the top of a passing car and then jump off a second story balcony into another portal, propelling them up into the air above the moving car. The student then must shoot another portal on the street to avoid a hard landing and other traffic…
Sky diving forever.
People who love skydiving now have an easier way to fall through the air. With the invention of the dual portal device, soon to be sky divers can shoot one portal on the ground and a second one at a floating hot air balloon. After jumping through the portal the diver can shoot another portal at the ground and continue the fall for as long as they like…
Jumper misses portal, hits pavement instead.
Stunt devil John Doe attempted a jump off a 30 story building into a portal in an attempt to launch himself through multiple rings of fire for his latest publicity stunt. Opting to not carry a portal gun with him, hitting his target was vital. Unfortunately, the wind was enough to push him slightly off course, just enough to miss his portal and hit the pavement…
School provides portal devices to all incoming freshman.
Blurp University, the first to give iPads to all incoming students, is now raising the bar by giving all incoming freshman portal devices. “We think this is a great opportunity for all the young men and women,” said Dean Molf. “Our students all intelligent and creative, we want them to have the tools they need to succeed. I mean, seriously, what could possibly go wrong?”
What stories would you expect to see?