Spoiler Alert: Star Trek Into Darkness

May 19th, 2013

This most definitely contain spoilers. You have been warned.

Plot Summary:
Star Trek Into Darkness begins in much the same way you would expect any Star Trek Movie to begin. The actor who plays Leonard Nimoy’s character dresses up as Iron Man and bungie jumps into a volcano while James T. Kirk and Bones are chased through a red forest by a race of people who dress up like Johnny Depp in the Lone Ranger trailer which had just finished playing.

This stunt, however, has little do to with anything else, because we are soon back on earth where Benedict Cumberbatch, played by Sherlock Holmes, saves a small girl and then apparently joins the dark side by enslaving a black man and forcing him to blow up a secret facility. He follows this up with a shootout and then retreats to the Klingon home world, obviously.

This is terribly convenient for the real bad guy in the film because now he can send Kirk and crew on a secret mission to bomb the Klingons and start a war with these new untraceable torpedoes which are powered by… frozen people!

Having just been chewed out by Spock and others for his disobedience of orders, Kirk now takes Spock’s advice to disregard the orders he was just given and capture John Harrison (Ford) instead of just killing him. Upon reaching the Klingon planet, they are surrounded by Klingon ships and about to be captured but John goes all Equilibrium on the aliens and they all die. He then immediately surrenders to Kirk.

Back on the ship we find out that The Necromancer was the one who actually put the people in the torpedoes, so even if they had fired on the Klingon planet, they wouldn’t have actually started a war, they just would have killed cryogenically frozen old people. We also learn that the reason Khan was forced to kill all those innocent people at Starfleet command was that the Admiral had threatened to kill his frozen crew mates (who he was able to smuggle into the torpedoes for safe keeping…) … … …

By now, the logical thing to expect is for the Admiral to show up in enemy space in a newly completed space ship that has been, up until now, top secret. Realizing that the gig is up, Kirk heads for home at warp speed and the Admiral has “no choice” but to blast the Enterprise out of the sky.

Shields are apparently useless, however, because a few pot shots later and the Enterprise looks like a sieve. Just when they are about to be destroyed, Nicholas Angel, played by James Doohan, played by Scotty, played by Simon Pegg, shows up and reboots the entire enemy space ship. Which you can apparently do… This gives Kirk and Khan just enough time to hurl themselves through space at what can only be called ‘personnel splattering’ speeds. Scotty then kills the first and only “enemy” crew member when he throws him out an airlock.

It now becomes entirely obvious that the only thing Sherlock wanted was to kill the Admiral, though there aren’t many people who are eager to stop him, partly because they are unconscious or injured on the floor, but also because the Admiral was a bit of an ass.

Finally, with some actual bargaining power, Khan trades the USS Enterprises Crew for his own frozen crew in their torpedoes and everyone goes their own happy ways and live happily ever after.

At least, for the next two seconds before Benedict “changes his mind” and blows the Enterprise out of existence. Or he would have, if Spock hadn’t lied for once in his life and swapped out the frozen people for actual torpedo fuel.

With Khan now safely defeated the crew of the Enterprise quickly returns to destroying the laws of physics and is apparently close enough to Earth to be in danger of burning up in the atmosphere… But the power of friendship is easily able to overcome the forces of gravity and radiation and everyone lives happily ever after.

Except for all the people who die when Khan crashes the remains of his ship into San Francisco. Because running away with a powerful ship and coming back later is not a good long term strategy?

Finally, everyone alive now can live happily ever after.

My plot summary is a bit glib and silly. Do not take my discussion of plot holes to mean I didn’t like the film. I did like the film. I thought it was great. It was very entertaining.

For a 2 hour and 12 minute movie this did a great job of holding my attention the whole time. There were a number of extraneous scenes and I felt like there were a few too many complications and twists in the plot, but it held my attention quite well. There were a few instances of fan service where the dialogue or situation almost seemed forced so that they could get a line in: “Damn it Jim, I’m a Doctor, not a…”

The casting for the film was fantastic. I was really amazed at how natural all the characters felt and how much they resembled the original cast from the TV show. I really enjoyed that.

Lens flare all around! Literally.

Plot was so-so. Mostly feasible, though motives always get messy when there are too many plot twists. I’ll buy it.

I don’t really like how the ship was portrayed in this. It felt like this vast open warehouse. People were walking along catwalks everywhere and I swear one of the florescent lights was hung like a street lamp. It felt like a factory and not like a space ship.

The underwater ship at the beginning reminded me of Futurama:
Leela: “Five thousand feet!”
Farnsworth: “Dear Lord! That’s over one hundred and fifty atmospheres of pressure.”
Fry: “How many atmospheres can the ship withstand?”
Farnsworth: “Well, it’s a space ship. So I’d say anywhere between zero and one.”

Overall I really enjoyed the film, but I went in wanting, no, NEEDING, to have an enjoyable evening. There was a lot of action, a lot of explosions, and I came away entertained.