March 6th, 2007 : The Qualms
I remember the qualms. The knot in my stomach going into the situation. I had never done something like this before, I was nervous. What should I say? How should I act? More eye contact? Less eye contact? Try not to look stupid, yet… I have to be myself. The key is to be yourself and everything will work out.
I brushed some lint off my suit jacket. I looked in the mirror again and straightened my tie. Deep breath, deep breath. Why am I so nervous anyway? It’s not a huge deal… yet… it is a huge deal. The rest of my life could depend upon this moment.
There I go, I’m frantic again. Heart racing like a string quartet. Deep breaths again. I sat down on the couch, stood up again, began to pace, then sat back down. I looked at my watch. Was it too early to leave yet? Deep breath, just a few more minutes. I sat down, I felt like a little kid in the car… “Are we there yet?”
Sit still… I can’t sit still. Why can I not sit still? My stomach, in knots and butterflies… butterflies in knots… knots of butterflies… butter-knots… or knot-flies…. I look down at my watch again… just a few more minutes!!!
I look away… I begin to think about what I am going to have to do. The things I need to say, the questions I will need to answer.
I look down at my watch… AAAHHH! I’m a minute late! Oh dear! I was going to leave a minute ago! I jump up and rush out to my car, the back of my mind realizing that it’s only a minute, and it’s not that important to be so exact.
I rush out of my driveway, eager to be on my way. I’m driving too fast… I don’t need to drive fast, I have allotted for time to reach my destination, why am I rushing so much?!?! I want to be prompt, but I don’t want to be too early!
Timing is everything, I slow down… but I’m ahead of schedule now…
I reach my destination a full two minutes before I had planned. I sit in the car nervously… why did I rush!?!?! I sigh and look at the clock, okay… I can go.
I step out of the car and head into the building. The secretary at the desk acknowledges my arrival.
“I’m here for an interview with Mr. Jobs” I say half questioning.
“Alright, have seat” She says calmly, “he’ll be with you in a moment.”