Category Archives: World Wide Web

Apathetic Zeitgeist for 2011

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It’s Apathetic Thursday and it’s time to take a look at all the terms which sometimes inexplicably lead people to my site.

I’m going to refrain from talking about the data too much and just let the number speak for themselves. Most this information is really only valuable to me and this is an easy way to archive things. So enjoy!

Here are the top 10 searches, provided by WordPress’ built in web stats (now part of JetPack.)

Search Term Number of Searches
portal test chamber sign 266
pi shirt 190
metroids 143
pi shirts 121
chamber music hero 102
mario games 91
i ate sum pi 78
portal test chamber signs 78
m&m addiction 71

WordPress provides me with the top 500 search terms, so I ran the list through http://textalyser.net/ for frequency analysis.

Word Occurrences Frequency Rank
portal 83 5.4% 1
chamber 57 3.7% 2
airtunes 57 3.7% 2
test 52 3.4% 3
mario 38 2.5% 4
out 36 2.4% 5
sign 26 1.7% 6
airport 25 1.6% 7
kart 24 1.6% 7
flickr 19 1.2% 8

Sorting though the list of 500 search terms, using only my vast intellect and Apple’s Numbers:

Term Search phrases containing term total searches containing term % of total searches
Portal 93 880 21.96%
Pi 77 862 21.51%
Chamber 66 857 21.38%
Sign 57 753 18.79%
Test 57 684 17.07%
mario 44 390 9.73%
Metroid 22 356 8.88%
Airtunes 59 328 8.18%
Kart 36 198 4.94%
M&M 13 126 3.14%
addiction 10 111 2.77%
flickr 25 88 2.20%
WordPress 20 69 1.72%
Tetris 7 47 1.17%
bug 6 45 1.12%

(*Note, some searches contained more than one term, so percent will not add up to 100)

Comments:
AirTunes. Clearly wireless technology such as AirPlay is still giving some people problems. I don’t imagine this will get any smoother as more devices start becoming wireless. The posts people are digging up are from 2007 and the same issues are still plaguing people today.

M&M Addiction. There must be some sort of conspiracy theory or television reference to M&M Addiction, because I get a lot of hits on that. I know I’m addicted to chocolate, but I didn’t know this was “a thing.”

Portal. I’m glad my Portal sign got some attention this year. I was kinda hoping it would hit some of the mainstream sites, but it never went completely viral. Maybe next year.

Bug. My “bugs in keyboard” post has generated more traffic than I expected it to. Although I had a spider run and hide in my keyboard, apparently other people have bugs coming out of their keyboards… *eeeewwww*

Chamber. While a lot of the “Chamber” searches were people looking for Portal things, a good portion game from people where looking for the Foxtrot “Chamber Music Hero” comic, which I linked to shortly after it came out.

Awards:
The “What is this I don’t even” Award goes to the 2 people who searched for:
“why do tiny ants on my cumputer”

The “Grammar King” award goes to the two people who searched for:
“if ms word file incomplete then how save complete”

The “How on earth did you find my site?” award goes to the two people who searched for:
“gooseberry drink”

Through the filters: FBI SPAM?

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I received this spam message today. It somehow made it through the Yahoo Spam filter. (Yahoo’s not quite up to Gmail standards yet.) Here is my line by line commentary of the letter. (I noted a few of the gramatical errors, but didn’t feel like marking up the entire document, so most are left untouched.)

To: MrBobDobolina
From: FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (admin@hzhky.com)

Yup, definitely from the FBI.

Subject: Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)!!!

Little known fact, the FBI is a heavy backer of exclamation marks.

Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
Anti-Terrorist And Monitory Crime Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
J.Edgar.Hoover Building Washington Dc
Customers Service Hours / Monday To Saturday
Office Hours Monday to Saturday:

I’m glad the FBI has such open office hours. It makes me happy to know they are working so hard, except on Sundays. I assume the baddies take Sundays off too.

Dear Beneficiary,

Because the FBI has no idea what my actual name is.

Series of meetings have been held over the past 7 months with the secretary general of the United Nations Organization. This ended 3 days ago.

Yes, I remember hearing about that in the news.

It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is to the tune of $850,000.00…

Oh it is glaringly obvious.

…due to past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held the fund to themselves for their selfish reason and some individuals who have taken advantage of your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to so many losses from your end and unnecessary delay in the receipt of your fund.

Can anyone say ‘run-on sentence’? Also, I’m glad the Government Officials only had one selfish reason.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations and Federal Bureau of Investigation have successfully passed a mandate to the current president of Nigeria his Excellency President Good luck[sic] Jonathan

Why can’t our leaders have names like Goodluck Johnathan? I would totally vote for him.

to boost the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you and other individuals and organizations who have been found not to have receive their Contract Sum, Lottery/Gambling, Inheritance and the likes.

Now suddenly we are talking about Contract payments, Gambling, and Inheritance? What happened to the corrupt politicians who were forced into compliance three days ago?

Now how would you like to receive your payment? Because we have two method of payment which is by Check or by ATM card?

Gold bricks.

ATM Card: We will be issuing you a custom pin based ATM card which you will use to withdraw up to $3,000 per day from any ATM machine that has the Master Card Logo on it and the card have to be renewed in 4 years time which is 2014.

Current date: Dec. 3, 2011. Clearly this letter is a year old, I hope the offer still stands. Why couldn’t they have told me about this sooner!?!??!

Also with the ATM card you will be able to transfer your funds to your local bank account. The ATM card comes with a handbook or manual to enlighten you about how to use it. Even if you do not have a bank account.

Oh good. Because I don’t have a bank account and I have never learned how to use an ATM.

Check: To be deposited in your bank for it to be cleared within three working days. Your payment would be sent to you via any of your preferred option[sic] and would be mailed to you via UPS.

Say what?

Because we have signed a contract with UPS which should expire in next three weeks you will only need to pay $135 instead of $420 saving you $285

Wait, three weeks from now or three weeks from then?

So if you pay before the three weeks 2011 you save $285

2011 is only three weeks?!?!?! I’m confused. Also, can anyone say “punctuation”?

Take note that anyone asking you for some kind of money above the usual fee is definitely a fraudsters

Those dirty fraudsters. Asking for money above the usual fee…

and you will have to stop communication with every other person if you have been in contact with any.

I’ve been in contact with my mother, does that count?

Also remember that all you will ever have to spend is $135.00 nothing more! Nothing less! And we guarantee the receipt of your fund to be successfully delivered to you within the next 24hrs after the receipt of payment has been confirmed.

Note: Everything has been taken care of by the Federal Government of Nigeria, The United Nation[sic] and also the FBI and including taxes, custom paper and clearance duty so all you will ever need to pay is $135.

There is only one United Nation!

DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANYONE UNTIL YOU READ THIS:

Ooops.

The actual fees for shipping your ATM card is $420

WHAT!?!? Are you a fraudster?

but because UPS have temporarily discontinued the C.O.D which gives you the chance to pay when package is delivered for international shipping We had to sign contract with them for bulk shipping which makes the fees reduce from the actual fee of $420 to $135 nothing more and no hidden fees of any sort!

Oh, whew! You had me scared for a second.

To effect the release of your fund valued at $850,000.00 you are advised to contact our correspondent in Africa the delivery officer Scott Mandy Will with the information below,

Punctuation. Capitalization. The word “help”.

Email: scott.mandy@yahoo.cn
You are advised to contact him with the informations as stated below:

1) Your full Name:
2) Home/Cell Phone:
3) Occupation:
4) Age:
5) Sex:
Preferred Payment Method (ATM / Cashier Check)

So in order for me to get my money, I first need to give a bunch of extraneous information to someone in Africa. Okay, that makes sense. I like how I don’t have to give an address. Just a name and phone number.

Upon receipt of payment the delivery officer will ensure that your package is sent within 24 working hours.

Working hours. Africa time or my time? Because I’m pretty sure I’m working at all hours. Just like the FBI

Because we are so sure of everything we are giving you a 100% money back guarantee if you do not receive payment/package within the next 24hrs after you have made the payment for shipping.

Yours sincerely,
Miss Donna Story
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535

Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possession of your ATM CARD,

Like you? Oh, don’t worry. I will.

you are hereby advice[sic] only to be in contact with John Will

Wait, who is John Will?

of the ATM CARD CENTRE

Oh hey! We are British now!

who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office so we could act upon and commence investigation.

Which office? What address? Because I think I have an email from an impostor.

I honestly don’t know how any English speaking person could fall for this. Is the target audience foreigners?

Facebook Update – September 2011

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There has been a large up cry about the new Facebook updates, and I’m a little surprised at it this time.

First off, this has happened a half dozen times in the past, and Facebook has yet to take something back that the users didn’t like.

Secondly, I didn’t think the changes were really that big.

Now, correct me if I am wrong, but I get the impression that the main complaints are partially due to a misunderstanding in how Facebook functions.

Facebook now gives users the chance to choose how much of a certain person they wish to see. You can use the subscribe button to see all of someone’s posts or only the “important” ones or none at all. This is entirely up to the friend, and not the owner of the account. I think this is nice, because I can go in and subscribe to friend who I care about, and possibly block some people I don’t need to follow. (Though, maybe it’s time to unfriend them…)

If you don’t want the whole of the Facebook world to see your posts, you have to limit your post to a list. (This is the way Google+ works, and to be fair Facebook has always had this functionality, but it has never been so easy until now.) If you don’t want all your friends on Facebook to see what you said to family members, you need to have your Family members in a group and when you post, choose to share it with them. No one else should be able to see the post, or the comments on that post.

Now, you don’t have control over who sees your comments on a post, (say, for example if you comment on a public posting) but Facebook has never allowed this as an option that I can remember.

I also see a lot of complaints about the new Top News section. I have never been a fan of the top news, I always want to see the recent news, and apparently Facebook tweaked the algorithm and isn’t doing a very good job right now. I don’t think it has ever done a good job. I just went through and unclicked all the “top stories” it suggested and I currently only see recent stories… not sure how long that will last, but it is a start.

I think the live feed is scary to some people, mostly because it’s live. The live feed doesn’t show anything that I couldn’t see by browsing my old news feed or glancing over someone’s profile. The fact that it is in real time and allows for quick and easy commenting only makes the site more like an instant messenger program than anything else.

Ultimately, everything that gets put on the internet should be treated as public knowledge. There is no safety or privacy out here.

That said, if you have Facebook friends who you’d rather not be sharing things with, you maybe should consider unfriending them.

Your Facebook account is FOR YOUR OWN BENEFIT. You don’t need to friend people if you don’t want to. You don’t need to share things if you don’t want to. You don’t need to use it if you don’t want to.

Facebook has been testing and tweaking their new code for months. This isn’t something they threw together overnight and they will probably continue to tweak it over the following months. I’m willing to predict that in 2 weeks most people will have gotten use to the change, or stopped complaining, or stopped using Facebook. All of these are acceptable options, but I will also predict that most of these changes will not be undone by Facebook.

The people working at Facebook have a vision of a sharing and happy utopia, something many of the users don’t share with them. As users we find a way to use our sites and we make due. When Facebook comes along and tells us we should use their site differently, we ultimately must fall in line or drop out. Facebook is a privately held company. You don’t own the site. You don’t own your profile. Facebook claims you own all your information, but you are putting it in their hands. You are putting it on their site. You have to play by their rules.

I’m not happy with all the changes they have made, but I’m doing my best to understand them so I can use the site how they would like me to do so. (That said, nearly everything I put online is considered public.) Feedback to the Facebook team is much appreciated, but telling them to “put it back how it was” is not an option they will be willing to consider. They live in a world of technology, and technology never moves backwards.

And look at the bright side. In 8 months they’ll change everything again and we can complain about that too.

Video Distribution as Restaurants

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I had this idea the other day. It’s not a perfect analogy, but I don’t think there is such a thing. If you have any suggestions for improvements or additions, leave them in the comments.

Broadcast cable or dish:
For a hefty monthly fee you have full access to all food currently being served. You can eat as much or as little as you like, but some dishes will be served at specific times so don’t be late. You meal will be interrupted every 7 or so minutes by a salesman who has paid for the pleasure to talk to you. His short pitches are potential entertaining, but repetitive. You have a few options for how much food you would like access to, but all your meals must be eaten at home.

Netflix:
For a moderate fee you have access to a large buffet of food and you may eat as much or little as you like. If you put down a meal you can pick it up at a later date without much trouble. You may choose any dish they offer to eat at any time. Certain menu items can only be delivered as take out and for a small fee will be delivered to your door within one or two business days. You may eat the meals anywhere you have access to the service.

RedBox:
Stop buy for a quick and cheap meal whenever you like. Menu is limited, but the prices are low. Meals must be eaten within 24 hours or a second fee will be charged.

Hulu:
Stop buy and get a free meal anytime you like. Menu selection is limited and you must have appropriate access to eat. Your meal will be interrupted several times by salesman who have paid to talk with you, many of whom represent global charities showing you dying children and asking for money. For a moderate fee, you can gain access to a larger menu, including popular dishes that chefs made over past weeks, but your meal will still be interrupted by salesman. You are allowed to eat most meals anywhere you have access, but not all meals are available on all platforms. There is, however, a large selection of appetizers, which are usually followed or preceded by sale pitches. Occasionally when ordering a meal you will be directed to a different restaurant where the meal is originally from and told you may order it there.

New Server!

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If you are reading this, that means the my site was successfully transfered over to a new server. I’ve finally taken the step away from shared hosting and moved into the “big boy realm” of the web. My good friend Bob Martens has offered to share his server with me, which is great. He worries about the techy-server command line stuff that I don’t feel like messing with and I grumble about how easier things were back on Lycos and Tripod… JUST KIDDING! I haven’t used them in years… Are they even around still?

Anyway, the move is so far successful, minus a few WordPress plugins that didn’t seem happy with their new home. They were quickly replaced and things are looking good. If you notice any glitches over the next few weeks, drop me a line. I’ll be tweaking things while I adjust to my new surroundings.

Timing and a Killer App

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In 2008 I bought the Lord of the Rings Battle for Middle Earth Anthology. I paid $22.48 with shipping. Here’s my receipt from Amazon:
Original Purchase

About a year later, I wanted to play multiplayer mode with my family and friends, but I only have one copy of the game. I figured $20 would be well worth it for the fun that it would generate. I headed off to Amazon only to find this:
Year Later

After 12 months the game had jumped from under $20 to almost $200. If I wasn’t so attached to the game I would have thrown my copy up for sale to see what kind of cash I could rake in. I didn’t though, because it’s a good game and I still have to beat it.

Out of curiosity, I went back again on September 8th to check the price. The price had dropped tremendously, but was still more than I was willing to spend.
Weeks later

It’s really amazing how games change prices over time. There needs to be an app or service which you can use to track the changes in price. How about a piece of software that tracks the current price of an item on a number of different sites and offers the option to auto-buy an item if it drops below a target price? (Provided you have an account on that site, of course.) Now I think that sounds like a killer app!

Price Check:Battle for Middle Earth Anthology on Amazon

Welcome to 2009

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While signing up with my credit card for paperless statements. (Figured don’t really need to get the mail every month and I pay online anyway.) I was met with this nice set of instructions:

You must have a valid Internet e-mail address, Internet access and access to a printer. You must also have one of the following hardware/browser combinations:

Microsoft® Windows®
Netscape Navigator® 4.07 or higher
Internet Explorer 5.0 or higher
AOL 5.0 or higher
Mozilla Firefox 1.0 and above

Macintosh®
Netscape Navigator 4.06 or higher
Internet Explorer 4.51 or higher
AOL 5.0 or higher
Mozilla Firefox 1.0 and above

Your browser must have cookies enabled.

Welcome to 2009.

Current browser versions:

Netscape Navigator 9.0.0.6 (Official support ended on March 1st, 2008.)
Internet Explorer 8 (Mac version has been discontinued since 2003.)*
AOL 9.1
Mozilla Firefox 3.5.1

I’m sorry, but if I was dealing with people’s credit card or banking information, I would want them to have a recent browser. You know, a browser that isn’t so full of security flaws that it like keeping a burglar out by opening a second door.

*Oddly enough, I just talked to tech person who has been ‘in the business for 13 years’ who had no idea that IE wasn’t available for the Macintosh platform.

TechPhobia.info

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I am about to try something new. In the back of my mind I have been toying with the idea of creating a website to help teach people about technology. I like learning new things and I find both enjoyment and challenge in explaining the concepts that I take for granted to people who have no technical knowledge.

For the past year I have been writing short three to five hundred word articles for my college newspaper on technology. I decided I want to take that to the internet.

This new site is a calculated whim. I have toyed with the idea, but never to any great extent. I know there are a lot of sites out there attempting to explain technology. I didn’t go and look at any of them. I bet there are probably some really good ones out there, but I have decided that I want to try my hand at one and I think I can do just as well, if not better, than the next guy.

The target audience is multi-faceted. My number one target is people who haven’t experienced technology before and need help finding there way around. I also want to help people who use their computer for paper writing, email checking and Facebook, but don’t know what else their computer will do. Finally, I would like to deal with a few issues that are more in depth and perhaps require more experience. As a side objective I would also like to develop a list or database of questions that new users have and concepts that new users don’t understand so that developers, designers and creators can see where users have problems.

I have a few concerns about this project. The first concern I have is getting traffic to the site, I have never been very good at advertising, but I have also never done something like this before. My biggest concern is finding my content level. I want to start out with the extreme basics, I don’t want to leave people in the dust, but I also don’t want to insult people by simplifying things too much.

Targeting this group of people is also hard because these people are not going to be out surfing the net looking for this type of information. I’m not sure how I will combat this, but I’ll figure that out as I go.

I acknowledge that these are lofty goals and it won’t be easy, but this is what I like to do. I like to dive into technology and I want to see if I can make this take off.

Without further introduction, I announce my newest venture: TechPhobia.info