If Buzzfeed tried to write a book

July 31st, 2014

(It would look something like this…)

Jeff opened his garage door and you won’t believe what he saw!

His car.

He walked up to his Toyota Avalon which had 15 undocumented features that make this car awesome.

Jeff put the car in reverse and slowly backed out down the drive way. He thought back to the movie he saw last night. The one he had to watch twice, because it had 73 inside jokes he missed the first time through. He had also missed about half of the 24 references he didn’t know that he didn’t see.

As he pulled onto the street his thoughts slowly changed to work mode. There were a dozen signs he was in a dead end job, but also 82 reasons a bad job is better than unemployment.

The car stereo was hooked up to Jeff’s MP3 player, which was loaded with 15 unknown artists whose music will blow your mind.

Jeff only lived five minutes from work, but he still passed 13 product billboards every twenty-something hates to be reminded of.

Traffic was light, one of the 17 signs you live in a small midwestern town. Jeff was just glad he didn’t have to put up with 8 annoyances only New Yorkers will understand.

Jeff parked his car in the lot and went in to work. It was just another boring slow news day.


** Please don’t judge my writing ability based off this post. It was meant to be horrible in a way that only Buzzfeed can be horrible. If you’re from Buzzfeed, I’m sorry for making fun of you, but you’re really kinda asking for it because you are practically making fun of yourself by now and yes, while I may have some good ideas for your site I don’t really have any ambition to work for you so thanks in advance for not asking. :-) **